Kat Alano is at the height of her showbiz career at the age of 19. An MTV VJ and model saw the reality of sex culture in the Philippines in the most unfortunate way. A story she shared was a painful experience.
A Greeting of Deceit
Kat Alano shares her fateful night. “I was out in a club drinking with my friends. I had been there for a while with a few drinks. Among the crowd, I saw a familiar face.
I said ‘Hi’ to this already famous guy whom I met within the showbiz industry. We greeted each other, did beso-beso (cheek-to-cheek kiss), and hung out. He brought me a drink as we hung out.
I was there with friends and a bunch of people. A little while ago, I felt (groggy) tired. I wanted to go and drive home, but he offered. ‘Let me drive you home.’ I declined and said, ‘I’ll go with my friends. My friends are gonna come with me.’ Yet, he persistently insisted on driving me home. He suggested, ‘I’ll get my driver to follow in my car and I’ll drive your car. You’re drunk! I’ll take you back to your place, and I’ll go home right afterwards.'” At this moment Kat feels awkwardly unsteady. She knows she doesn’t get drunk easily after having a few drinks.
They are at the parking lot seeing his driver right there at his car. In her mind, “So okay, why not? He’s gonna go afterwards, why not?” Eventually, he drove Kat back home.
While driving home Kat felt suddenly different and confused. She started to think about what she had drunk because everything felt weird. It’s the first time and the last time she felt something like that in her entire life. She’s trying to recall what drinks she had and if there’s some sort of allergic reaction to them.
The Act of Wrongful Doing
They arrived at her place and he parked the car. She told him, “I’m gonna go upstairs now, thank you so much.” He insisted, “No, no, I’ll take you upstairs.” Kat responds, “No, you can’t take me upstairs.” He was persistent and she was too weak to resist. So, he ushered her to the elevator to go upstairs. She kept telling him, “No! No, no! You can’t come up.” At that moment Kat’s freaking out. When they got to the door, she tried to reach for the keys, which were already in her hand. He opened the door and then she blacked out.
She didn’t know what happened next. Suddenly she woke up and then passed out again. In that instance, she felt her hands were above her head. Her legs were up high in the air while lying on the floor. He was pulling off her denim pants while her legs were up in the air. He looked surprised to see her gain consciousness for a second then passed out. Several times she would instantly wake up and then pass out, like a reset button. She doesn’t know what was happening. Every time she opens her eyes he would be kissing her while he is on top of her. He would calm her down and keep saying, “Don’t worry, nothing’s gonna happen.” The last time Kat would see him, he would sit and calm her down.
Then a knock on the door finally woke me up. So much time must have passed when I heard that knock. A moment that completely changed Kat Alano’s life.
A moment in Kat’s life that happened two decades ago. A memory that could never be erased.
A Victim’s View
A dreadful experience opened Miss Alano’s eyes to the deep, hidden issues in Philippine Society. An issue that silences victims and protects perpetrators. A general mindset that needs to change.
Now, Miss Alano is a vocal advocate for this change. She raises awareness, educates others, and pushes for a safer environment where everyone can express their sexuality without fear. I interviewed Miss Alano to see if there’s been an exponential change in the past decades.
A Different World
“A lot has changed in 20 years and it is strange to watch. Yet, it gives me hope that I see it happen within my lifetime,” Miss Alano reflects.
“When I was assaulted the World was a different place. Our culture believed that rape was the victim’s fault. This belief persisted for so long that it was what you expected. ‘You must have done something to deserve it’. Remember, our law used to state that rape was a crime against chastity. Because of this, a victim’s reputation would be called into question. Our law changed in 1997 but our mentality has taken longer to catch up. Not to mention that our age of consent was 12 up until 2022.”
Hope for the Future
Despite the challenges, Miss Alano sees hope in the younger generations. “Nowadays we also have the younger generations who are becoming more aware of abuse. They are rejecting it. Many have already experienced it themselves. They want more (change).”
These young people are demanding change and refusing to accept abuse as the norm. More victims are finding their voices, speaking out without shame. The blame is finally shifting to where it belongs: the abusers.
“Our progress has been slow, but we are definitely moving in the right direction. More people want better for themselves.” Miss Alano said.
A False Sense of Safety
The rise of social media has provided a platform for victims to be heard. “People have more of a voice now online, and the chances of being heard are much larger,” Miss Alano acknowledges. Yet, she cautions against mistaking this increased visibility for true safety.
“I feel that in terms of abuse, people don’t feel safer. In fact, abuse has become a part of everyday life for many people.” Many have become accustomed to avoiding abuse due to its frequency and normalization. Some people do not even realize they experienced abuse.
Miss Alano emphasizes the lack of adequate infrastructure to support victims. “Having laws and the few programs that we have is not nearly enough for the sheer volume of the problem.” She calls for proper resources and manpower to combat this issue effectively.
Facing Fear with Determination
When Miss Alano first started speaking out, she was terrified. “I went through horrific things in the name of trying to do the right thing.” But her determination to educate and advocate for change outweighed her fear.
“Fear or no fear, the fact is that we have a serious problem. There are far too many victims who need to be heard and acknowledged. There are also far too many predators who need to be stopped in their tracks.”
She points out that Philippine culture often provides a safe haven for abusers. They hide behind cultural norms, knowing they will be defended. Ten years have passed. Fear has been replaced by a determination. The goal is to get Filipinos to have these conversations openly.
Miss Alano believes that everyone deserves to feel safe and protected. “What are we doing if we do not have the safety and well-being of people in our concerns?”
A Different Reception
Miss Alano contrasts the reception she received in the Philippines with that in other countries. “In other countries, you are applauded and treated as brave for having spoken up.” In the Philippines, yet, victims often face shame and disbelief.
“People automatically believe you are looking for attention. They think you are trying to be famous or just trying to get money. These are all kinds of deflections from the issue itself.” This mentality, rooted in outdated laws and cultural beliefs. This makes it difficult for victims to come ahead. Support is often limited to those who are well-informed.
Male Victims and Collective Action
Miss Alano also highlights the plight of male victims of rape. “I think that there are many male victims of rape in our country, but it is even more difficult for them to speak up.” She encourages men to become advocates against rape, emphasizing that it is not just a women’s or LGBT issue.
Abusers target anyone, regardless of gender. Miss Alano stresses the need for better protection. Especially for children, given the high rates of online sexual exploitation of children (OSEAC).
She also emphasizes the difficulties faced by those working to make a change. Miss Alano wants to know, “Why don’t we approach this as a collective?”
Beyond the Justice System
Miss Alano argues that relying solely on the justice system is not enough. “Trying a case can take up to 8 years. In many cases, judges still rule based on outdated mentalities.” Meanwhile, victims suffer daily, waiting for justice.
She calls for more community support, empowering victims, and providing safe spaces to report abuse. “We need to start treating victims with care. It’s important to listen to their stories. We must ACTUALLY crack down on the people committing the crimes.” Kat believes that protecting abusers at the expense of victims is unacceptable. “Time to turn a page”.
An Unhealthy Sex Culture
Miss Alano is very vocal about the unhealthy sex culture in the Philippines. Before Spanish colonization, Filipinos had a less repressive view of sex. But now we have repressed sex. Even sex education is difficult to come by. We don’t talk about sex, and yet we have it on TV.
Sexuality is pushed in the media, but there is no guidance for young people. “Why would you put kids in a world full of sex and not explain anything to them?” Some young people are being pressured into pornographic acts by their peers due to what they have seen online. “What used to be fetishes or extreme sex acts have become the younger generations’ starter kits.”
Miss Alano concludes, “We like to pretend these things don’t happen. The truth is right in our faces. We can’t ignore it anymore.” She believes that repression causes issues to fester. It is time to tackle the damage. We need to start to heal.
